October 2018


October 2018

This month has gone by so quickly.  The 6-month anniversary was so difficult.  I can’t understand why this one was any worse than the others.  I suppose before if you kept busy you could almost trick yourself into thinking that she was in hospital and James was with her as we had done many times before.  After 6 months the realisation sets in that you will not see her again and you begin to realise how much you really miss her and long to hold and cuddle her again.  Every night I sit and look through the beautiful photos and videos we have of her.  Even though we still laugh as a family we always have that feeling that something is missing.  I find myself finding little things making me cry.  I miss the point before bed where Elizabeth loved watching tractor videos on the television! I miss the morning when she would sit and play farms while we were getting ready for school.  I miss going in to get her in the morning or from a nap.  I miss seeing her in the back seat of the car when we are on a journey and seeing the beaming smile.   I miss her being sat up at the table with us for diner, even if she did throw everything on the floor!  Most of all I hate the fact that she is not in our family photos and days out anymore. 

Johnny is much more settled in preschool and doesn’t get upset going in anymore.  He asks lots of questions about how Elizabeth died and always brings her name up in conversations.  The girls stay very quiet and often change the subject if her name comes up but that is just their way of dealing with it.

Johnny’s birthday is just around the corner and we cannot wait to give him his present and spend time with family.  It is however another day which makes us realise how much we miss our little girl.




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