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Showing posts from August, 2018

Our stay at Little Bridge Childrens' Hospice.

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Westward Ho, North Devon, Monday 26th April 2018 Sensory Room- April 2018 Saunton Sands- April 8th 2018 Easter Egg Hunt- 8th April 2018 Making cakes- 26th March 2018 Jacuzzi Elizabeth's room and Lucy Elizabeth and Daddy 4th April- at home for a few days Button Tractor Johnny 25th March 2018 Our stay in Little Bridge Hospice. On the 23 rd March 2018 the ambulance arrived at Exeter hospital to transport our CLIC nurse, Ali, Elizabeth and I to Little Bridge Hospice.   It was so emotional leaving Bramble and I was so scared at where we were going.   We had dragged our heels for so long about visiting the hospice.   We had a planned visit at the end of January 2018 but Elizabeth had become poorly the day before and so we had to postpone.   James had been busy on the farm and his Dad was having treatment for prostate cancer, we had also been very nervous about going and we were not sure if we could psych ourselves for goi

Fundraising

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School Cup for Community fundraising  Richards Wish Family Fun Day James and I (pre speech!) Pimms and my a few of my lovely friends Vintage Stitch Raising money for CLIC since before Christmas with the Betsy Owl. So far has raised hundreds of pounds. Face Painting Family and friends James, Lucy and I Fundraising. From our first week in Exeter where I met our CLIC social worker, I knew fundraising would be a big part of our journey.    My friends had organised a cake sale which had raised over £3000 and had also signed up to do the commando challenge.   When our CLIC social worker mentioned a named fund, I set this up for CLIC.   It was nice to be able to add gorgeous photographs and updates on Elizabeth’s treatment.   It also passed the time while in hospital.   To date Elizabeth has raised £5075.   We have kept it has a fund in her memory so that people can choose which charity to give to. I hope to do events to ma

Bereaved sibling support

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Harvey Hext Trust- Memory boxes and memory bears Bereaved siblings. When Elizabeth became poorly last May (2017) we were very honest with the children upon diagnosis.   We told them the tumour had been removed but that she would intensive chemotherapy.   We also made them aware that the doctors would do everything they could to make Elizabeth better but that she may not be cured, and the cancer might come back.   We also discussed how the chemotherapy would make her very poorly and it would mean I would be spending a lot of time in hospital.   Ella understood the most I think, and all the children understood to a certain point, they were also very concerned and always commented on how brave she was! The children particularly hated her daily injections (GCSF) in between chemotherapy to help bring her blood counts back up ready for the next dose of chemotherapy.   Elizabeth always cried, and I usually had a little panic before I gave it! However, Elizabeth always stopped cryi

Grave

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August 2018 Funeral Flowers 22nd April 2018 June 2018 Grave How often should you visit the grave of your loved one? A question I have asked for many years.   Personally, I have never felt the need to visit a grave and have instead always preferred to look back at photos or sit quietly and have a think about all the memories I have of that person.   By not visiting the grave has never meant that person has not been in my thoughts.   However, when Elizabeth died I have found it reassuring to visit her almost every day.   Maybe it’s because I was with her when she died, I held her after she had died and visited her in the chapel of rest.   I know that she is snuggled in her beautiful pyjamas with her favourite blanket, clutching her favourite rabbit comforter and snuggled up with bunny which matches her friends.   When I visit the grave, I can picture her looking comfy and I can imagine holding her. As we enter our 5 th month without Elizabeth I no longer need

Grief

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Grief. Such a taboo subject... When Elizabeth died I wondered what could possibly help.   I am a reader, so I looked to books and began my search.   There are a few self-help books on the market, but I was surprised to find very little choice.   There were even less written in the UK with many written in America.   I had to get on with things for the other children, but I just wanted to read something which mirrored some of my feelings.   I had always remained so positive up until Elizabeth died, I needed something else to help me see some positives somewhere! Rewinding back to when Elizabeth started to get grizzly and sleepier than normal.   I knew something was wrong, but I always hoped for a miracle, I have found stories where the tumour suddenly stabilises or suddenly shrinks.   I also hoped for some treatment just to give us that bit more normal time as a family and get her on that trip to Disneyland.   Unfortunately, that was not meant to be, however even when we sign

Biff's Battle Book update

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At the beginning of my book Biff's Battle I remember saying that I loved writing but had never thought I would write a book! So pleased that I managed to get it published and so pleased to have raised money for Little Bridge Hospice and Grace Kelly Ladybird Trust.  I am so pleased that people know more about Elizabeth's journey.  The idea of a blog came from the CLIC team. So many people have asked me how did I cope? I always say it was hard and I missed the children so much, but on the other hand I got to have one on one time with Elizabeth.  We cuddled, we played, watched television and chatted to the nurses.  We also had plenty of visits and presents too! Ever since Elizabeth was diagnosed in June 2017, I never took a moment for granted with any of the children.  When a consultant tells you that your child will die within the next 2 years, a child who has been nothing short of perfect since she was born, it makes you realise that you have to grab every opportunity to