Grave

August 2018

Funeral Flowers

22nd April 2018

June 2018
Grave
How often should you visit the grave of your loved one?
A question I have asked for many years.  Personally, I have never felt the need to visit a grave and have instead always preferred to look back at photos or sit quietly and have a think about all the memories I have of that person.  By not visiting the grave has never meant that person has not been in my thoughts.  However, when Elizabeth died I have found it reassuring to visit her almost every day.  Maybe it’s because I was with her when she died, I held her after she had died and visited her in the chapel of rest.  I know that she is snuggled in her beautiful pyjamas with her favourite blanket, clutching her favourite rabbit comforter and snuggled up with bunny which matches her friends.  When I visit the grave, I can picture her looking comfy and I can imagine holding her.
As we enter our 5th month without Elizabeth I no longer need to visit the grave everyday and instead try and visit a couple of times a week.  I enjoy watering the plants and keeping it pretty. I love keeping a photograph there, so people know how beautiful and smiley she was.  I have also started to buy pink flowers each week, my little something in honour of Elizabeth.  I especially love roses.  James picked a pretty windmill earlier this year and he always comments on how it is always turning when he visits or drives past.  He is comforted by this and feels like it is Elizabeth showing us she is watching us.  I am a little more of a realist and feel like it is just a windy spot!  I do however love the spot, we can see our house and it is under a beautiful oak tree which has provided some lovely shade from the sun during what has been a beautiful summer. 
The girls find it more difficult to visit the grave and are never too keen to visit with me, however Johnny has become quite used to our visits once we have dropped the girls to school.  He does often ask difficult questions such as, ‘can we dig her up?’ ‘why can’t Elizabeth come home?’ We always talk honestly with them as I never want them to feel out of the loop and not involved.  Johnny is still so confused though.
We also love people to visit the grave, a few people have asked us if it is ok.  We love the thought of Elizbeth still being involved in so many lives.  When we visited a few days ago we noticed ‘Elizabeth’ made from twigs beside the grave and it was heart-warming.  We have seen other children visiting another grave and they are also attracted to Elizabeth’s grave because it is so pretty, and it has a beautiful photograph.  It is also quite unusual to see a baby’s grave in Colyton.
Overall, I love the fact we can see Elizabeth’s grave from our house and we look forward to getting the headstone in place, so other people can get more information about our beautiful and brave little girl.

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